1. Noun
form: Applause is non-count noun--there is no plural form.
2. Subject-verb
agreement: Because “applause” is singular, the verb must also be
singular--change “were” to “was”.
3. Capitalization:
the “Oscars” is a proper noun--it needs a capital letter.
4. Noun-pronoun
agreement: Again, because “applause” is singular, the pronoun referring to it
must also be singular--change “they” to “it”.
5. Verb
tense: “had rose” is the past perfect; here you need the simple past “rose”.
6. Verb tense: “had been announced” is the past
perfect in the passive voice; here you need the simple past passive--“was
announced”.
7. Pronoun
error: “them” is a plural object pronoun; here, we know that the winner is
singular, but the word order is also a problem--replace with “the person
receiving it”,
8. Word
form: When referring to a person, the word form is “director”.
9. Verb
tense: Instead of the past progressive tense, use the simple past--went.
10. Word form:
“quick” is an adjective--here you need the adverb “quickly” as it modifies
“went”.
11. Punctuation:
Don’t use a semicolon before the coordinating conjunction “and”; a comma is
required. Similarly, a comma is needed after “announced”.
Possible Answer: There was a lot of applause at the Oscars, and it rose the most when the winner of the best movie was announced, and those receiving it were directed to go to the stage as quickly as possible.